A Poem

To the tune of, I am the Very Model of a Modern Major General

I am the very model of the new Utilitarian,
I advocate in politics a rule majoritarian,

Where at the risk of suffering the pains democracy befalls,
Majorities shall never have their powers circumscribed by laws.

The masses should in every case pass laws that they themselves contrive,
And if it makes them feel better, then two plus two shall equal five.

You have no rights, I have no rights, our god's name is Utility,
Measured in terms of certainty duration and propinquity!

Measured in terms of certainty duration and propinquity!
Measured in terms of certainty duration and propinquity!
Measured in terms of certainty duration and propinquity!